10 Reasons Tayler Shouldn't Have Survived the Last 2 days ....

And the 1 reason he did:

1. Got into my makeup, destroyed a compact of eyeshadow, and decorated himself and his clothes beautifully with mascara and eyeliner. Why is it that the makeup won't stay on my face, but won't come off of him? When I went to put the white shirt on him that day, I actually hesitated, but then thought, "Why not? What's the worst that could happen?"
2. Spread diaper rash ointment (not cream, mind you) all over his dresser, the clothes in his dresser, and his carpet.
3. Dumped a half gallon of strawberry lemonade on the floor. Can you say sticky?
4. Pulled all of Tyson's ties off his tie rack - again.
   
5. Pulled all of Tanner's shirts off the hangers in his closet
6. Tipped Tanner's dresser over and broke a drawer in the process. I know, I know - it should be anchored to the wall. And Tanner's old dresser was (I still have the screw holes in my wall to prove it), but since Tanner quit climbing and tipping things years ago, his new dresser was never anchored. We're lucky Tayler wasn't hurt.
   
7. Emptied his last container of wipes on his bedroom floor. They don't go back in. They also dry out very quickly - even faster than I found them.
   
8. Dumped a container of cinnamon sugar on the floor and drove his trains all through it.
9. Dumped a cup of fruit punch on our picnic blanket. So much for going to the park to avoid his messes.
10. Filled cups of water in the bathroom sink and dumped them on the floor.
11. Hugged me and said "I love you Mommy" while staring at me with his big blue eyes

While it may appear that I don't watch him close enough, keep in mind that most of these happened while I was in the process of cleaning up the last mess....

Question of the day:

Is a skunk as fast as a chinchilla? I don't know, and I really don't care to know. So I lied and told Tanner no, I definitely knew the answer was no.

I may have had the energy to do some research and find out if he and Tayler weren't constantly stretching me to the end of my mothering abilities. Most recently, we have two incidents. First, he's punching girls. Not really girls, but girl. I'm trying to feel worse about it than I do, but I don't. The girl is a neighbor girl who is about his age. If he was just unprovoked attacking her and punching, I'd feel bad. And it's not that I'm not punishing him for it. I just don't want to. Every time she is around, she tries to kiss Tanner. He doesn't like it (or her for that matter) so he tries to get away. The first time he didn't get away, I got a knock at my door and there she stood, crying. "Tanner punched me in the nose!" "She was trying to kiss me!" yells Tanner from our front yard. I really can't blame him. She's a little annoying to put it gently, and it's hard to be upset when he's just defending his virtue, for heaven's sake. So I sat them both down and explained that touching of any kind, whether a kiss or a punch, is not OK unless it is priorly approved by the recipient.

This same incident replayed itself on nearly a daily basis for a couple of weeks, and Tanner has had some pretty severe punishments that I don't think he really deserves. I realize hitting is inappropriate, and especially him hitting a girl. But he has never once instigated it. He has never once gone to her house and hit her. She shows up in our yard, tries to kiss him, and gets punched in the nose/stomach/arm/leg/etc. I refuse to tell Tanner that a kiss is OK if he doesn't want it. So he spent one week of having to come inside if she showed up in our front yard. Then after that week, he was given rules. No hitting, first and foremost. No teasing, second. And finally, run to a mom if she's trying to kiss him. It seems to be working. Still, I really just want to let him beat on her if she's going to keep acting the way she does. Does that make me a bad mom? Hopefully the visits from her parents are done.

Next is the problem of his wardrobe. I promise I do laundry. I also promise Tanner has more than one shirt. You wouldn't know it, though. Tayler gave Tanner an Indiana Jones t-shirt for his birthday.

He put it on that night, slept in it, wore it the next day, slept in it, wore it the next day, and slept in it once again. By the 4th day, his Grandpa got a little concerned and decided to help solve the problem with a couple new Indiana Jones shirts.

I convinced Tanner that we should exchange one for something other than Indiana Jones, just for some variety. So for a couple of days, he wore the new Indiana Jones shirt, same routine - never removing it. Then he decided to wear both at the same time.

So that day we went to exchange the other shirt. I talked him into a Kung Fu Panda shirt, thinking my problems would be solved with a little shirt rotation. Wrong. He put on the new shirt, slept in it, wore it the next day, slept in it, wore it the next day, and so on. I guess it's just clothing. He's already on notice that when school starts, I will be choosing his clothing for the day. So until then, please ignore the stench. I'm trying. And don't even get me started on Tayler..........

My Should-Have-Been-Best-Friend, Sting...

Tyson and I were fortunate enough to get to go see The Police last weekend in concert. We're both long time fans. They sounded even better than their cd's (or should I say records?) It was a great concert, although it should have been longer. They played everything I would really have wanted them to, but it was only about an hour and a half. I wasn't ready to go home to the kids for them to be done!

I found these pictures online to show the band in the 80's vs. now:

Although they sounded as good or better than ever, I must admit they're looking old - except Sting. He still looks amazing! I think he's actually gotten better with age, while the others just look old. Tyson kept telling me he's old enough to be my dad. Somehow that made him feel better. Well, maybe he barely is, but he's not my dad, so I can think he's hot. Really hot. How many guys his age can pull of a tight t-shirt like that, I ask you?

Now here's some of our pictures from the concert: (You'll see why I pulled some from online! All we had was Tyson's iphone for photography.)

This one is Sting showing up unannounced on stage to do a duet with Elvis Costello (who, by the way is awesome too and made for a great opener). It was really a highlight of the night. Elvis is in the black suit, Sting in white. Good luck picking them out.

Me and Tyson watching. It was getting dark...

And, me with Sting in the background (I promise he's there! That's why I'm smiling so big:))

So naturally, this concert brought back a lot of memories about the Sting concert Tyson and I went to when we were dating/friends. He tries to forget it, but I take every opportunity to remind him why Sting and I should have been best friends by now if it weren't for him. OK, for those of you who haven't heard my horrible tale, here it is:

It's 2000 and Sting is coming in concert. Tyson had already bought tickets and asked me to go to the concert. I'm really excited about it. There's a radio station called Star 102.7 who is running a contest for front row tickets and back stage passes. Tyson was entered in the contest. Now, their usual contests consisted of picking a winner and calling their phone number. If that person answered the phone "Hi Star!" and said nothing else before, they won. So it's 6:00 am on the morning of the concert. The prize is being given away, but they've changed the rules. You have to answer "Roooooxanne!" for this concert. It's been made very clear for days. So Tyson's phone rings (he always wants to remind me that it was very early in the morning. Yes, but he was already a work. How much more alert did he need to be?). The caller ID is the radio station's number. And here's how it goes:

"Hi Star. Uh, um I mean Roxanne (in a panic)....... Please, please, please (really pathetically)!"
"Sorry. Next number."

And that's how my dream to meet Sting and be his best friend ended. I didn't hear it on the radio, because of course it was 6 am. So, Tyson called and confessed his stupidity to me. I really tried to be nice, because he was still taking me to the concert and all, but how could we not be totally disappointed through the whole thing a million rows back knowing what should could have been. Seriously, I still get so frustrated when I tell the story. But it has a happy ending. I married Tyson anyways.

They may grow older....

Tyson and I found this picture of McKayla at 4-years-old last night while searching for a whole file of pictures he lost in the computer swapping we have misplaced. Then he swore he had recently taken an identical picture, so he searched for it. She may get older, but she'll never grow up! A face only a mother (and father) could love:

What the......???

Don't ask.

While The Cat Is Away...

OK, so the cat and mouse analogy really fails for this scenario, because I was the one away and the one to play, but good enough. Last Saturday I went with my good friend Marlene on a girls' day to Park City. We decided that because our birthdays are a month apart, we needed to plan a girls' day every summer to celebrate. Last year we went to a movie, and this year we went shopping. I have to admit that a day without boys was enjoyable. I love all my boys, but sometimes, you just need more estrogen. Although we were on a vacation from mommying, we did spend most of our time buying clothes for the kids. But without the "I'm tired," "This is boring," "When are we going to be done?!" that I'm used to hearing while shopping for kid's clothes. It makes a big difference! And finally, I've found someone who shops like me - straight to the back of the store for the clearance items without a second glance at the more expensive stuff!

After shopping we went to dinner at Red Rock. Instead of waiting for a table, we opted to sit at the bar - drinking cream soda (fresh brewed, of course). (I can't get the picture off my phone of Marlene at the bar with her cream soda. It's coming. Maybe. Only it's on Tyson's schedule.)I love Red Rock's food! And now I love the bartender who had to ask if we were 21! Of course she believed us when we said yes, and didn't ask for ID, but it's been a while since I was asked. I used to get carded everywhere I went. Seriously. Three or four years ago I got carded at Walmart to buy fireworks. You only have to be 18. Or maybe 16. But there I was, mother to 2 children, being ID'ed. I used to hate it and couldn't wait to look like I had left my teens. Then it stopped - somewhere around the time I turned 30. I really shouldn't have hated it so much. Now I get excited if someone ID's me. I think somewhere along the way I went from looking 18 to looking 30+. Skipped those twenties all together.

Anyway, thanks Marlene for the very fun day. I'll never look at bathrobes or Bubba the same again. And I'll know who sent that anonymous email, so don't even try it!

Happy Birthday Tanner!

Tanner's Version:

I decided to sleep in for my birthday until 8:30. It felt great. I lounged on the couch watching TV and drinking hot chocolate all morning. No chores! It's my free day. I don't even think I could get grounded or punished today. I'm going to go play x-box and slide down the stairs on my pillow for an hour or so now.

Time for lunch! I chose Burger King to get the Pokemon toy. This is awesome. They even have Mac and Cheese. Yea! McKayla called to tell me happy birthday. I miss her, but she sent me a present, so that helps. Time to go home for my party. Friends are on their way.

Off to "Kung Fu Panda" with my friends. Yum - Candy, drinks, and popcorn. I love movies. I think I'm now a Kung Fu master after that movie. I rock! Cake and ice cream at home with presents and lots of wrapping paper. I think I'll play with my new toys for an hour before dinner.

Another meal out - Training Table this time because it's my favorite. I'm getting tired from all of the playing today, but a family party is just starting. More cake and ice cream, and tons more presents. This rocks! I'm never going to take off my Indiana Jones shirt - ever!

Grandpa is a great Hulk fighter, but I still beat him.

Still no punishments! I'm going to the park to play until my later-than-usual bed time. OK, 9:30 pm - bedtime. Good night. It's been my best birthday ever!


My version:

6:30 Go running. It's the only chance today.
7:15 Make cakes and cupcakes for 2 parties
8:00 Clean house for said parties
9:00 Kids in bath
9:30 Shower
10:00 Frost cake and cupcakes. Try to keep Tayler out of the newly frosted cupcakes and cake.
10:45 Round up boys shoes
11:00 Off to lunch at Burger King - yuck.
11:30 McKayla calls to tell me what she wants me to go pick up for Tanner's gift from her. I've only been asking for 3 weeks! I really miss her.
12:30 Drag kids out of Burger King.
12:45 Uh-Oh! Car is a mess and kids are coming for the party. Clean car like mad (vacuuming included.)
1:00 Friend Pary. 4 little boys watching Kung Fu. It's going to be a long afternoon. Popcorn and drinks cost more than a nice dinner for the whole family. That sucks. Cake and ice cream at home sure makes a mess with 4 boys.
4:00 Take friends home. I'm tired.
4:05 Better go get McKayla's gift for Tanner. Sure wish she hadn't waited to the last minute.
4:40 Make frosting for round 2 of cakes. It's got to be penuche frosting.
5:00 Dinner. Out to eat again. There's no time to cook.
6:15 Barely made it home in time for family party. Set up chairs/tables/blankets outside. The house is still a mess from the earlier party.
6:30 Family party. It's hot, even in the shade. Oh well.
8:30 Clean up outside. I seriously don't remember bringing out this much.
9:00 Round kids up from the park where they've escaped to while I've cleaned.
9:30 Drag Tanner to bed. I'm beat. Good thing it's the last kid birthday for 7 months around here.

Food, Fireworks, and Fun Runs......

The fourth was full of traditions for our family. Last year I started the tradition of running the local rotary club 5K in the morning. Tyson wasn't a runner last year, but my friend Marlene was so she and I ran it. This year, Marlene had to go and have a baby, so luckily Tyson has become a runner so I had a running mate...at least for the first 3 steps until he way out ran me. I think last fall was the last race I'll ever beat him at. My sister Jamie ran it with us too, so she was more my speed. My time was slower than last year, probably because I only run half as much as last year. Here we are pre-race...I figured it'd be a prettier site than post-race. (Thanks again mom for taking the kids so we could do this!)

After the race, it was a dash to Tyson's mom's house for breakfast before the parade, both being traditions. Breakfast was yummy and the parade was HOT - again, a tradition. We were the unfortunate recipients of chair theft at the parade, so we're down several camp chairs, but it's all worth it, right?

Tayler was so afraid of the street and cars at the parade that he had to be held or be left on the blankets behind. All three of my children have been deathly afraid of streets and cars. I think I must somehow be causing psychological trauma in the way I teach them to not go in the street. I'd rather it be that way than the other - kids running in the street with no fear.

So, after the parade we went home for a much needed nap for Tayler and whoever else wanted one - me included. It was awesome to take a nap in the middle of the day. We then took off to dinner at my parents' house, another tradition. The food was perfect for a hot day. Yum! My mom bought all the walking grandsons Cars crocs and gave them to them at dinner. They were a hit!
Our final tradition is fireworks in the same spot we've been for 25 plus years. Tayler was a little scared of the fireworks at first, but learned to love them quickly. And with a mouth full of candy, who wouldn't love it!

And here's Tanner snapping a "Pop" in his fingers..

Tayler watching the fireworks a long way off at a neighboring city..

And here's my crazy niece Kami at the fireworks - she's always making faces like this! I couldn't pass this picture up.
And finally, the real deal - the fireworks and kids watching them:

Boys, boys, boys....(it's hard to be the only girl!)

Remember me noting how my children were so happy and willing to do chores? Ignore that. It lasted about a week. Or maybe it was McKayla setting a good example for Tanner, and with her gone, he has no example. Whatever the reasoning, Tanner's done. Both kids get a small allowance each week when their chores are done. They also can't play with friends until they're done.
So the other day, Tanner informed me he was done doing chores. His reason: "I don't want you and Dad to run out of money for food, so I'm not going to do my chores anymore so you don't have to pay me every week." What a thoughtful kid! After I explained that I could pay for both, he came up with reason #2: "My friends are being bad examples and I don't want to start acting like them, so I'm not going to do my chores so I can't play with them." That one didn't work either. Can you say "lawyer in the making"? He can work any angle.

With McKayla gone, I've been looking for any projects to do to keep my mind occupied. I've resorted to reading entire novels in a day (The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio was a really cute and inspiring book), and most recently, making blankets. Now, I'm not a sewer (who knew that sewer, as in one who sews, is the same spelling as sewer, as in the stinky stuff? Is sewer [the first one] even really a word? It is according to dictionary.com). Anyway, I don't sew much or know how to much. Yeah, there's the occasional receiving blanket or tied quilt, but I make it up as I go. And years ago, I found the cutest pattern for capris for McKayla made out of two bandannas, so I just had to try. But a few weeks ago I found the cutest "choo choo" flannel for Tayler, and once he saw it, I had no other choice. So I spent yesterday making a blanket for him and one for a gift.
Don't look too close at the finished product - you'll be sorely disappointed, but Tayler doesn't care. He thinks he's in choo choo heaven, which of course he is.