Vote For Me....

for mother of the year. You can also throw in a vote for babysitter of the year if you want to after reading this. Today was the day of the impromptu epinephrine injection. No, we had no allergic reaction at our house. Just too many boys.

I was watching my sister Lisa's two kids, Barrett (2 1/2) and Charlotte (4 months). Charlotte was sleeping like an angel in my locked bedroom (have I mentioned before how much I love girls?), and the boys (Tayler and Barrett) were first playing upstairs, so I sat down at the upstairs computer to pay the bills while they played. Before I was done, they took their haul of toys down to the family room. Thomas the Train was on TV, so I felt OK about the 5 minutes it would take to finish. Not a good choice, in retrospect. At this point I might need to mention the fact that Tayler and Barrett together are trouble. Not just double the work of one, but more like 10 times the work. They feed off of each other's naughtiness. They have been banned from Grandma and Grandpa's monkey room multiple times for such behavior. They're just a bad pair, but oh so cute together.



So, minutes later (really it was 2 or 3, I swear) Tayler is screaming like he's dying. "Fwowy, Fwowy!" I jump up and run down the stairs. The boys had emptied Lisa's diaper bag on the family room floor, and Tayler is still screaming. I accused asked Tanner what happened and he shrugged. That was when I found the epi-pen. I hadn't even remembered that Lisa carries one in her diaper bag for Barrett's peanut allergy (we almost got to use it last time she brought him here, thanks once again to my incompetence as a parent...but that's a story for another day. Or never.) But then I see it. An open epi-pen on the floor, needle bare. I started to believe Tayler's screams of death (still going: "fwowy, fwowy!"). I asked him where the fwowy was and he pointed to his back. That's when I saw the blood spot on the back of his shirt. And when I lifted his shirt, I saw the injection site. Then started the "Bear-bear fwowy," meaning Barrett did this. The pen was dripping epi, and I put two-and-two together.


This is what I have recreated: Tayler begins emptying the diaper bag, one of his favorite pastimes when Lisa is around. Barrett watches with a big smile, maybe even encouraging him. The epi-pen comes out and Tayler uses his mad "I can open anything" skills to open the said medication. Barrett now sees an opportunity for fun. (Remember, at this point on an epi-pen, the needle isn't visible.) He picks it up and uses his new-found tool (those of you who know Barrett know without question he was calling it a tool) and uses it on Tayler's back. The needle is exposed, and Tayler gets the best "fight-or-flight" response of his life. Then I come in.

I talked to medical professionals (meaning my mom and any doctor she could get a hold of) who first assured me there was no real risk of harm to Tayler, and then laughed hysterically at the fact that two 2-year-old boys were shooting each other up with epinephrine. All the while, I'm recognizing my severe incompetence as a mother. Mother of the Year? Babysitter of the Year? You can go ahead and vote now.....And hey, I'm free to watch your kids anytime.